In order to discern my path to reach my goals for this year, I need to know my starting point. So I got on the bathroom scale to write my current weight in my planner. I also wrapped a measuring tape around my waist so I could my starting number in my planner.
The numbers are recorded, and I know now my starting point. Later that night , while waiting for sleep it occurred to me to find out my BMI, the Body Mass Index. So, I found my height on the chart, and then traced the path of the weights listed until I came to the one that was closest to what the scale registered. Turns out: it’s going to be a daunting journey to get ready to climb that hill on Iona.
I think the phrase “Morbidly obese” is inaccurate. I may be obese, but I’m not morbid, I’m cheerful, resilient, generally optimistic and hopeful. I know, I know the phrase “morbidly obese” refers to the impact the excess weight is having on my health. I was just messing with you.
Meanwhile, back to the point: the numbers written in my planner show me that I have quite a journey to get ready for base cam and even consider moving up the lovely hill. I won’t tell you the precise numbers because that’s not the point of this blog. I will share with you that in order to reach a healthy BMI I should lose 105 pounds, and in order to have a waistline that takes me out of the zone for Metabolism Syndrome 15 inches need to disappear.
What complicates things a little bit is that some forms of exercise, are, to quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail, “right out”. Two years ago, hurrying down a sidewalk in London, late for Afternoon Tea with my traveling buddies at Fortnum and Mason’s, I fell, flat on my face I think (I was knocked unconscious, later diagnosed with a concussion), and also landed on my right knee. Two weeks later, back home in Pennsylvania, I landed on the same knee on the concrete outside a coffee shop to meet a friend. I have never felt pain like that before! That knee is still unhappy, even after a shot and physical therapy. So high-impact or mid-impact exercise is not right for me this time.
Two years, I took a class on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction which helped me lower the stress in my life and reduced its toll on my health. As a side effect, I found that I was doing less stress eating and, and so during the class and for a few months after, I lost weight without intentionally changing my eating pattern. Therefore, as part of my trekking preparation, I am adding daily meditation along with morning prayers, and the Lying Down Yoga routine choreographed by my MBSR leader Kelly and listening to nightly relaxation messages to help me sleep. The yoga seems to be good for my knee, and it feels like food is loosening its grip on my life. It’s only been a week; I’ll keep you posted, just in case you’re interested.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has had a glimpse of who they really are, or reflected on life and not been happy with what they’ve seen. Whether you write down the amounts you owe your debtors, put the pro’s and con’s of your relationship on paper, compare the hours you’ve exercised with the hours you’ve intended to exercise, gather all the pens in your home into one place and discovered you own 79 pens but have only ever bought 5, or put an X for each five minutes you spend actually talking with your child of partner and then tally the Xs: seeing things clearly can turn out to be a blessing. The fog of free floating anxiety will lift and you can see where you truly are in your life.
Once we see better who we are and where we are, the road ahead becomes a bit clearer. Then we gather the resources and support we need in order to start to move in the new direction. As one of my heroes, Red Green, would say, “Remember, we’re all in this together.”
Base line for my weight: WT
Base line for my waist: WL
I’ll measure again on Thursday or so and keep you posted on any progress.
Today’s Prayer Poem is by Rachel Hackenberg, as posted on the revgalblogpals Facebook page:
I cannot fly,
O God of the soaring eagle;
I cannot even leap with a dancer’s grace.
But today I can wake and I can rise, and perhaps
the strong wind will remind me not to be so rooted in fear.
I cannot measure up,
O God of the starry heavens;
l cannot even pretend to humble-brag.
But today I can admire the trees, the sky, the river,
and perhaps the stars will teach me to love myself too.
I cannot heal,
O God of the brokenhearted;
I cannot even imagine my wounds closing.
But today I can sigh and I can sing, so perhaps
love will not be powerless in the face of brokenness.
I cannot hide,
O God beyond measure;
I cannot even escape the sun.
But today I can meet my own gaze, so perhaps
tomorrow I will not mind so much if I am finally found.
Grace, peace, and traveling mercies to you!